Tell Us All A Story

Tell us all a story
To make us stamp and pound
It better be a good one
Or you owe us all a round

I met this girl named Seli
A fine young dworcish girl
It seems that her appearance
Made all the locals hurl
I'd say she drove me crazy
But that doesn't begin
To tell you how she fucked me up
And fucked me sane again

Tell us all a story
To make us stamp and pound
It better be a good one
Or you owe us all a round

I love a girl named Pixie
But she could not be seen
Except for when she wanted to
Because she's not that mean
She lets me see her in the shower
And in the bed as well
I told her if I aimed it wrong
It'd hurt her ass like hell

Tell us all a story
To make us stamp and pound
It better be a good one
Or you owe us all a round

I met a girl named Delilah
A fine frost-dwarven lass
I handed her a fiver
All she gave me was sass
I saw her later in the bar
And made just one more pass
I don't remember the rest of the night
But I woke up in her ass

Tell us all a story
To make us stamp and pound
It better be a good one
Or you owe us all a round

I know a guy named Peter
He has a lot of hair
I always hate it when he wants
To have me go down there
As soon as he's all finished
I get a bit dismayed
Cause I'll be picking curlicues
Out of my teeth for days
Tell us all a story
To make us stamp and pound
It better be a good one
Or you owe us all a round

I knew this woman Katherine
A noble elf lady
I told her she was lovely
She helped me grow a tree
She used her hand and put her head
Right down upon my lap
And then she used her tongue just right
And sucked out all my sap

Tell us all a story
To make us stamp and pound
It better be a good one
Or you owe us all a round

I knew a man named Gerald
A fine upstanding guy
He always told me what to do
If I should stand or lie
He treated me fair lovingly
And never made me cry
Except for when he made me kneel
And stuck it in my eye

Tell us all a story
To make us stamp and pound
It better be a good one
Or you owe us all a round

I love a bard named Rinwin
He tells me all he knows
Like how to touch that special place
That makes him curl his toes
While he's a little kinky
I'm sure I can't do much
Ladies, would you leave a man
Who eats you out for lunch?

Tell us all a story
To make us stamp and pound!
It better be a good one
Or you owe us all a round!

I adore a dwarf named Sol
who likes to grab my staff.
She likes it when I light on fire-
A riotous good laugh.
She gives me all the love I need
Although she is complex
But let me tell you what she lacks
She's got no gag reflex!

Tell us all a story
To make us stamp and pound
It better be a good one
Or you owe us all a round

I have a girl named bubbles
And she is lots of fun
She always keeps me occupied
From 6 til half past one
She never complains she never annoys
I'll never hesitate
To recommend to all my friends
To buy a girl that inflates

Tell us all a story
To make us stamp and pound
It better be a good one
Or you owe us all a round

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